We won’t see the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco until it airs Sept 2, but outlets like EW, E! Online, and Buzzfeed are leaking the most scandalous one-liners from the recent taping.
No surprise that the dirtiest jabs are aimed at the gay sex-obsessed multihyphenate’s ambiguous sexuality like a big wet dick to the face.
Here are 10 of our raunchy faves:
Seth Rogen: ”Every guy wants to be him and he wants to be in every guy.”
Andy Samberg: ”James is so bad in bed, he doesn’t even clean the jizz off my back when he is finished. Talk about chivalry being dead!”
Seth Rogen: “In all seriousness, he is a very hardworking actor. He once told me he worked for 36 hours straight, which I don’t believe — the straight part, obviously.”
Sarah Silverman: “I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s fucking.”
Seth Rogen: “If there were two James Francos, they’d never stop butt-fucking each other.”
Jonah Hill: “He’s like our generation’s Johnny Depp, if Johnny Depp was a worse actor who blew guys.”
Sarah Silverman: “James recently won the ally award for his support of the LGBT community. It’s a prestigious award that’s given anally… annually. It’s given annually.”
Seth Rogen: “He’s a tough guy to pin down, although I’ve heard many guys have been able to do it.”
Jeff Ross: “[Milk and 127 Hours should’ve been] one epic movie where you get your dick stuck in Sean Penn’s asshole for five days.”
Aziz Ansari: “So many gay jokes tonight about Franco. Apparently if you’re clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you’re super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face?”
Sometimes it’s OK to laugh and not be outraged for two minutes.